sigh.. whenever i start thinking about what i choose that day.. i keep blaming myself.. all i can do is blame myself..

i nv intend to give up on this r/s.. never.
sigh..

he means so much to me..
everything..

now.. i think.. i will still follow my heart and that is..

i still love you.. i cant deny that..
this seems so stupid/foolish/silly
but still..
i REALLY DO!!!!

no matter how hard u try..
sigh..

unless.. u really wan me to go away...

then i have no choice..

but...

aRGHHHH

i cant do it!!!!

*breaksdown*

*tearin*

sigh... can i be honest?

can i tell everyone i really cant give up on the r/s?

sigh...

he has came into my life and became part of it...

when he's gone it seems like i'm left with half of my heart...

aRGHHH!!!

*filled with tears only*

The good news is...

my colleague told my boss about the deduction matter so he ask me to go to his room to talk about it..

so..

i told him to start the deductions next mth...

and he replied: "ok.. ok.. ok.."


phew~

feelin so fed up now...

they didnt even tell me they gonna deduct the unpaid leave today... zz

at first it was said to be deducted only after i took half a month..
wtf lo..

sigh...

should have taken a sales job..

admin work really sux..

the envt too

yawnx...
took cough medicine.. the drowsiness..
my head spinnin..

*on leave today.. took medicine and.. time to slp*

e medicine sux..
the cough is even worse..

i was coughing the whole night till i cant stand it.. went to take some medicine..
able to doze off..

gosh.. i havent go to slp cos i've been trying to figure out how to use the marquee coding..

Blame it on my stupidity

Siansations..
I called starhub cust svc @ 10 pm and the officer told me he would connect back the line within 1 hour..

so..

i waited...
but it wasn't connected..

at 12.15a.m i made the bloody second call.. wtf man..

the officer told me i got to restart my cousin's mobile in order to "connect it back again".

so..

i restart the mobile..
but it wasn't connected AGAIN!
WTF!! made mE WAIT FOR THAT BLOODY 1 MIN!!!

seriously.. i feel like scolding vulgarities at the third officer..
but all are nice ppl..
thus.. i choose not to.

BUT

i don't like his ans..

WTF!! *pissed off*

he told me they are having a 24 hour maintenance so they couldn't resume back the line.

WHAT KIND OF ANS IS THAT!!!!??

ivy said : " ans lorx"--->> she loves pissing me off.. *grumbles*
ivy said: "shit you!!" + *smacks her butt*

Why is heaven so cruel?
gives me such a cousin?

gosh.. i've been putting on some few kilos recently..

tmr i'll be helpin mom with the "advertising" of the company's product..
and i'm suppose to do facial for the ppl.. and most of them are.. guyx..

arGHHHH

and i'm suppose to stand behind them while they're sitting on a stool..

what if they lean back?!!!

*siansation*

whoever dares to lean back!!!

dun blame me..

i might just stab u from behind.. *grxx*

What now?

He created a new a/c in frenster..
although i claim that i've choose to let go but i still cant do it.. hate myself.. why does he have to try to be a jerk thing? doesnt that hurt me too? *sadx* these 2 yrs it' seems more like i'm wasting his time..

i think i better make plans about being a nun.. enuff of all this foolish r/s tt i've been havin.. ENOUGH!
nasty and despo ppl.. there are so many of them out there... why cant lightning just strike them and they just die..

i cant find any other reasons besides being an idiot for e past 20 yrs.

hmmm... realise 4 months has passed ever since the break-up..
Finally it's time to let go and have a new fresh start.

1) Thought of moving back with aunt.. can't stand the nonsense back at home.
2) What course should i study?
3) How to make myself busy?

currently having thoughts about going to Bangkok for a holiday trip on my birthday week.
finally a break that i can let go of myself from all the stress and worries that i've been givin myself..

still day-dreamin about the "next one"

piano piano piano... a long wish i've always been hoping for..

i thought of recording some of e songs i sing and use it as a bg for this blog..
after plenty of thoughts.. better not. the next person who's gonna read this blog gonna puke and turn green.

20 years of my life has gone to a waste... useless 20 years..

my blog has always been a very pathetic one just like the blogger..
*siGH*

It has been so long ever since i last blog...

recently i've read this blog of Colin & Kero..

2 cute guys... interesting. The first couple that i've seen who are open about their relationship..

www.colinandkero.blogspot.com

so sweet..

It has been some time since i last blogged..

During this period of time.. i have new friends.. went out with a few net frens...

Met up Calvyn too..

i hate myself...
i'm only falling deeper into that black hole and never to climb out of it..
even if i do... i'm half dead..

i'm so selfish...

but i really don't wanna let go..

if i can choose..
i'd rather do it the loser way...
take the "easier way" out...

but i know i cant..
for the responsibilities tie me down..

when can i break off from tt...?

who can really understand?

sigh...

J O Y C E
-from a French word meaning "joy"
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again.
I'm imperfect and I'm Lovin' It.
I'm the only witness and person who can judge my life.
This is my blog so Click here if you hate it.
I edited the blogskin using Firefox
so if you're viewing it by I.E,
it may look abit weird.

Life is so short...

Always live life to the fullest
to never regret a day in your life

Good days gives you happiness
Bad days gives you experiences

Both are essential to life
******************************

I appreciated all the help,
love, care and concern from
all my love ones and friends..
I thank you all for that and
"I Love You aLL Dearly"

**Life is all about choices..**
I've made them and regretted
sometimes.. Silly isn't it?
Now it's the time to look ahead
to think of the positive side
and make each day better
and brighter
than the day before


**Blog under construction...**

Save the environment
I'm trying too. What about you?
I want to grow taller.
I want to shed off 20kg
No more everyday blues

mY FRienDsteR pRoFiLe

My name is:
Joyce Ang Geok Ling
My Chinese name:
Hong Yuling
Also known as:
Reiko or Joyah
My age:
21
My Horoscope:
Cancer & Leo
My Zodiac:
Tiger


-Her Addiction-
-Hubby - Chen Weirong

-Her Loves-
-Family
-Friends
-Sleep/Napping
-The companion of love ones
-Attention (Majority loves that too right? =p)
-To hang out with my SingTel colleagues
-Sounds from the small water fountain
-STRAWBERRIES!!
-Shopping! I'm a shopaholic =p

Wishes:
-To own an apartment at East Coast
-To start my own business
-Have a career
-Own debut
-Car license
-A car
-My first SGD10,000

-Interest-
-Singing
-Piano
-Personal Grooming
-Kayaking
-Swimming
-Cycling
-Nap
-Nap + Suntan
-Star/Cloud gazing
-Camping

-Describe HER-
-Vainity
-Her bag of cosmetics
-Her long straight hair
-Constant whining about being fat
-Noisy & loud
-Crazy and very emotional
-Shy with strangers
-Petty
-Forgives but cannot forget
-Grumbles and mumbles a lot
-365 days, 7/1 whines non-stop
-Stingy


I've taken a few test and these are the answers
[I wonder if it's true....]:
At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.

In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

Never give up in yourself.
Have efficiency in the things you do.
You make your own choices.
If you have to fight for the things you deserve, then do it. If not, who will?
A lot of things starts with, "I wish to do it" or "I don't wish to do it"
What everybody owns now comes out from the one who dares to create,
think and dream.


If you think you know me, read my blog and think again.
I am imperfect.

-Nose Job
-Double Eyelids
-Long Lashes
-Bigger Eyes
-Thinner Lips
-To be skinny/underweight
-To be tall
-Ipod
-Sony Ericsson W910
-More pocket money
-New clothes
-New stiletto heels
-New Guess Bag and wallet
-New cosmetics
-To be pampered

LBedazzled
Dainty
LPristine
LRomance
LMagic
Melanie: CC486
Sassy Shirt: YN438
Slinky Slip: JN312
Sandra Slip: HD430
MICHELLE SLIP: YN439
Davina Slip: CC415

My family
Eldest Sis-Cyndi
Youngest Sis-Agnes
Cousin/Biaomei-Ivy

My Friend of 9 years and the company
Jo

Friends
My Nai-baby
Tania

Lovely Tng's
Ruvyn
Chervyn

Colleagues in SingTel [Telephoney House]
The one who has little lambs - Mary Teo
Little Red Riding Hood - Sam
The adorable - Lin Lin
The red fishball otah - Hong Yuan
The Lovely lady - Eka
The one who loves slapping flies - Lydia
Paparazzi no.2 - Xiu Zhi
Ask her about Korea - Khoon Yi
Mentor Zi Yang

Colleagues in Keppel [ComCentre]
Suriannie
Jasmine

Tortoise
Nicholas, Junyuan

IRC Friends
Shawn
Wee Leong
Alvin
angelgir
Felix
Jennier/iFish
Jing Ai
Anju
Jason
Justin
Bakieee
Lynnette

Friends
Belle

MUSIC SCHOOLS
Tiny Box Music
The Art of Music

The Impressive Singer

Felicia Chin
Patricia Mok
Dasmond Koh
Bryan Wong
Quan Yi Feng
None
None
None
None

Online Shops
Checkout
sweetgift
Fashion
Hello Kitty
Face Up Facet
Dora's Little Hut
Online Boutique - Butik Gue

Renee & Shop
Renee
Reneethy-million

UsefulLinks
Photoshop Tutorial

Interesting Links
Sudoku
Yuan Wei Ren
Rockson
a CUTE GIRL!! - Chloe

The People of Nuffnang
Constance
Judy
My Lacy Closet
The Samsui Lady
Daisy
Belle
Shiya
Simun
Qi
Chai Leng
Queenie

♥ July 2005
♥ August 2005
♥ September 2005
♥ October 2005
♥ December 2005
♥ January 2006
♥ February 2006
♥ March 2006
♥ April 2006
♥ May 2006
♥ June 2006
♥ August 2006
♥ September 2006
♥ October 2006
♥ November 2006
♥ December 2006
♥ January 2007
♥ February 2007
♥ March 2007
♥ May 2007
♥ June 2007
♥ July 2007
♥ August 2007
♥ September 2007
♥ October 2007
♥ November 2007
♥ December 2007
♥ January 2008
♥ February 2008
♥ March 2008
♥ April 2008
♥ May 2008
♥ June 2008
♥ July 2008
♥ August 2008
♥ December 2008
♥ January 2009
♥ March 2009
♥ April 2009
♥ June 2009
♥ July 2009
♥ August 2009
♥ September 2009
♥ October 2009

they pleaded her GUILTY

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Her Blog: PauLeNe
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